So, a couple of years ago I was having a hard time with my career path and I read this book: Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck.
Now, I don’t like to admit in public that I read self-help books. But, the secret truth is sometimes I do. I can’t read really annoying, cheesy ones, but Martha Beck is funny. (I’ve never met her. She just seems funny.) And I like funny. Plus, she was a Mormon that left her faith. Since I’m not a Mormon you might be wondering what that has to do with anything. I guess it’s just relevant. Like: someone who can talk about leaving her religion (which is such a sticky topic for people) in such a candid way seems to be a pretty truthful person.
Martha (see I’m calling her by her first name, which is sorta self-help’y of me) talks about this idea of the social self v. the authentic self. I won’t go deep into it (read her book – it really is good), but it really resonated with me. The basic idea is we have two selves: the self that pays the bills/is polite to Aunt Joan/etc. and the self that wants to ‘be who she really is.’ (They can overlap.)
I try to be my authentic self, but sometimes basic fear gets in the way. Which really annoys me. It’s like my “social self” thinks its better to keep all this stuff hidden, out of sight, but my “writer-self” knows that’s antithetical to writing, which is all about truth.
The truth of the matter is I’m not sure I can blog because it seems so open. So putting yourself out there. But, all writing is doing that, isn’t it? Maybe all living?
So, I’m going to try. I hope you’ll join me on the trip.